The Lazy Lover

Dating Story The Lazy Lover | Naughty Guide

The Lazy Lover

One online date, I thought I'd hit the jackpot for a perfect fuck. He was immensely handsome with dark hair and a great body. We hit it off, and I took him back to my place that night. I didn't want to any waste time getting to know him like the good Lord intended.

We were all over each other as soon as we got back to my place. It was incredibly hot. We were on my bed in no time. We ripped our clothes off, and he entered me. Five seconds later, he came.

What the fuck? I thought as I lay there with him coming on top of me. Did I black out and miss all the action? Did I just go back in time to the first time I had sex and didn't feel anything?

He rolled off of me and started to relax in my bed. No worries, I thought. He can make up for it by going down on me, or we can play with some of my toys. Hopefully his meat cleaver would be ready for action again in a few minutes.

...But nothing. He didn't even budge.

Frustrated as fuck, I reached under my bed and took matters into my own hands. Literally. Thank god my vibrator was always ready and willing to please me. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Playing with myself. Feel free to join me anytime," I said.

No luck. He just lay there, limp as his tiny wiener. My ability to come despite my surroundings is almost godlike. I was able to get off despite this stranger lying beside me, not participating.

I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he just got too excited. Could I blame him? I mean, look at me. Or maybe he's a little intimidated, inexperienced, whatever. Maybe in the middle of the night or in the morning he'll be better prepared.

In the morning, he gets his a.m. boner, and we have sex again. It's all about him. It's all about what his meat popsicle wants; nothing about me.

"Hey, let's try this..." I suggested.

"No, I like it like this."

Are you kidding me right now? You're in my bed for Christ's sake! I let him finish because I'm a ridiculously good person (and I knew it would only take a few seconds). After he finished, I told him I'm really busy, and he needs to leave.

I didn't call him at all for another date. Why would I? My bidet shows my undercarriage more affection than he did. But he (of course) called me. I tell him I'm not interested, and he wants to know why.

"You're a lazy lover. Sex was all about you."

"What? How is that?"

"You didn't please me or even attempt to please me!"

"I'm really sorry, Sienna. Let me make it up to you. Please? We can do whatever you want in the bedroom."

With an offer like that, how could I refuse?

So we went on another date. Over drinks we really hit it off. I hoped this was foreshadowing for how the rest of the night would play out.

When we got back to my place, I was all prepared to have a good time in bed. After all, he said I could do what I wanted. We got to my bed, and I straddle him. I suck on his cock a little then come back up to ride him. I'm just teasing him at this point; I have other things up my sleeve.

I was determined to make this fuck session last more than two minutes this time. While I'm working my magic, he keeps trying to flip me. He was trying to take control again. My pussy was livid. We deserved better!

"Listen, I'm not going to do this if you don't let me do it. You said I could have it any way I wanted it," I told him.

He nodded his consent.

"Good," I smirked. "You're in for a treat."

I reached under my bed and grabbed a black blindfold. I wanted to give him head while he wore it, but he absolutely freaked. You would have thought I had asked him to bend over so I could shove a giant dildo up his pasty ass cheeks.

"Get that off of me!" he shouted. He ripped the blindfold out of my hands and threw it on the ground."I won't wear that."

"Are you fucking with me? It's only a blindfold."

Apparently that was him trying to be playful with me. I didn't bother telling him that jokes should be left outside of my bedroom.

"Go down on me," I said, trying to keep the mood alive.

"Let's have sex first," he insisted.

"I thought tonight was supposed to be about me? If you're not going to eat me out, get the hell out of my house."

"Are you serious?"

"Are YOU?"

He grabbed his clothes and left in complete disbelief. This guy was a total joke. How could he demand to be pleasured, but I couldn't? My pussy has much higher standards, pal. She deserves to be treated like the fucking lady she is.

Afterward he kept emailing me trying to go back out with me, but I ignored them. A few months later, he had the balls to call me. I had already deleted his number, so I answered it by mistake. He said we should go out again because we had such an amazing time together and great sex.

I was in shock and couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Maybe the sex was good for you, but it was horrible for me," I said. "A five-second fuck completely revolving around your little chode isn't exactly my definition of a good time. If you aren't willing to go down on me, then you're not worthy of fucking my pussy. I don't want to see you again or have sex with you. I'm going to hang up now and please don't call me again."

And that was the end to that.

- Sienna Sinclaire® - Naughty Lifestyle Guide - Los Angeles Dating & Sex Coach

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