Fetishes | Naughty Living
Fetishes
Usually associated with 'weird' or 'deviant' people, fetishes are actually surprisingly common.
There are so many fetishes out there it would be impossible to list all of them, but most people will have a fetish of some kind, even if they don't even realize it yet!
Our attitudes to sex and sexual behavior are changing all the time and, thankfully, activities which used to be kept strictly hidden from view are now much more out in the open.
The stigma of having a fetish is no longer there (depending on the fetish, of course!) and so many more people are discovering that they have untapped desires which can be satisfied in ways they never knew existed.
So how do you know if you have a fetish and how can you incorporate it into your regular sex life?
1. Identifying different types of fetish
The list is infinite, but the main fetishes which get talked about the most include bondage, role play, voyeurism, dom/sub play and electro-sex.
You don't have to 'fit' into a certain category of fetish, either. For instance, for those into bondage, some people get turned by being handcuffed during sex, but not by being blindfolded.
For voyeurs, some will love watching other people have sex, but hate the thought of someone watching them.
So understanding different fetishes within the same sub-category can help you realize what works for you and what doesn't.
There are no rules, so just explore all the different options by visiting websites and chat forums, and just seeing what's out there.
Shop around on sex toy websites, too, to see the huge range of toys and devices available to fetishists.
My own sex store has hundreds of toys for beginners and experienced fetishists and is a discreet starting point for anyone who wants to widen their sexual horizons.
2. How to introduce a fetish to your lover
You might have always had a desire to be spanked during sex, or have your lover wear a mask or say certain things as he fucks you.
Maybe you're desperate to try role play or introduce some edgy new electro-sex toy to your repertoire.
But broaching the subject with your lover, especially if you've been together for a long time, can be tricky.
A good way to get the conversation going is to say that you read something about spanking in a magazine and was wondering what his view on it was.
Or you were with your girlfriends and one of them started talking about using nipple clamps during sex, and does the idea turn him on?
You could watch a naughty movie together and jokingly suggest you try out some of the same techniques, and see what his reaction is.
Ask about his fantasies, too - all guys have them - because you might find some common ground neither of you knew existed.
Perhaps he's always wondered about swinging, or having you play the dominatrix, while you've fantasized about being tied up, having a threesome, or controlling your lover during sex.
Introducing the idea of fetishes during an innocent conversation could lead somewhere erotic and exciting, so what have you got to lose?
And if it turns out that your lover shares none of your fetishist curiosity, that doesn't mean you can't look at alternative ways to indulge your passions - solo fetish play can be just as exciting as doing it with your lover.
3. Don't be shy but always be honest
If you have a partner who's open to the idea of fetish play, that's great.
All you have to do is keep communicating about what you like or what you'd like to try, and keep listening to your lover so you're both on the same page.
Sometimes you're not going to want to try the same things, or you might find that you're more into one fetish than your lover is so you have to be sensitive to that.
Sometimes you'll just have to accept that there are fetishes he won't want to take part in at all, and vice versa, but as long as the lines of communication are always open, there's usually room for compromise.
If you're single, then that's even better, because there are no end of websites, groups and meetups which cater specifically for those who want to hook up with like minded people and indulge their individual fetishes.
Most groups are well-organized and professional, but always use common sense when arranging one-on-one meetups.