How To Tell If A Guy's Into You
It's one of the questions I'm asked most often - how to tell when a guy is into you. Well guess what? There really is no magic formula or hidden method...it's all about chemistry and whether or not he likes you.
Never pursue a man! All you need to do is show interest in him and if he's interested he'll pursue you. If he doesn't, he isn't interested, and if he isn't interested, you're wasting your time if you do any more than that.
You should never have to work hard to catch a man, if he's into you, he'll come to you. If you work too hard to get a guy, you often wind up with the wrong guys.
Other ways to tell if a guy is into you:
Eye contact
If he can hold your gaze, then he's definitely interested. Men who look away, or down at the floor, as they speak to you, are doing a bad job of hiding the fact they're not attracted to you. For guys, attraction is primarily physical, during a first date at least. If I'm a date with a guy and I see him looking away or looking at girls walking in then I know he's not into more...he's more into seeing if there's something better coming along. Because when I am on dates with guys who are interested in me, they make eye contact and don't worry about others walking through the door.
Balance of conversation
Men who are into you will ask you questions about yourself and listen properly when you reply. If he cuts you off mid-dialogue, or talks about himself constantly then he's obviously not bothered about who you are or what you're into, so stop wasting time on him and get out of there.
Tactility
Does your date brush his hand against your arm as you speak, or gently place his hand in the small of your back as you walk or sit down at a table? Slight touching can be playful and flirty, and is definitely his way of showing interest. More forceful touching, like grabbing your hand or putting an arm around you without asking you, is a different thing entirely, and actually indicates his desire to be in control of you or someone who's immature who's trying to force the chemistry. You'll know the difference.
Shortening the space
If your date leans in to you as he talks, as though sharing some great secret with you, this is a sure sign of interest. By crossing into your personal space in a non-threatening manner, he's showing you that he feels comfortable being close to you. Guys who aren't interested will subconsciously lean back from you as they talk and maybe cross their arms. Body language is very important when determining if someone is into you.
Length of Date
If it's your first date together and you both agree to meet for drinks to see if you like each other, if he decides to have dinner or stay longer with you then it's a good sign he's probably into you. However, if he has a drink with you then needs to leave after the drink making up excuses and saying he'll call, it's safe to say he's not into you and that he has another date lined up after you or he just wants to find something better to do.
I was on a date once where we met for drinks but the guy told me ahead of time that he had a bowling league so he only had time for a quick drink, which was fine by me because I had set up another date after him. So we met for drinks and hit it off right away. Then he said he was having such a good time he wasn't going to go to his bowling game, which he later told me was his out. But I had my next date lined up and I wanted to get to know this guy better so I had to reschedule with the next guy. Oh well for trying to set up two dates in one night...didn't work out for me. But the point is that he went from just drinks to staying longer with me because he was into me, if he wasn't then he would have gone to his "fake" bowling league.
The time he calls you
So you've enjoyed a couple of dates but you're still not sure if he's into you as dating material. Does he call you after midnight, or on the spur of the moment wanting to see you immediately? Any guy who calls you late at night, but rarely during normal hours, is after a booty call, pure and simple. If he doesn't have the manners to arrange a proper date at a time and place to suit you, then he's evidently not interested in your needs, only his own. If you're looking for just a booty call then perfect, if not then I would move on to someone else.
Enjoys Your Company Outside of Bedroom
If he enjoys your company outside the bedroom, then he's probably the real deal. Most men tend to think with their cocks, and there's nothing wrong with that, so any guy who genuinely wants to spend time with you outside the sexual arena, is someone who is liking you for you, and not just what they can get from you. Or he may just "like" you when you're in bed together and if that's all you want then great but chances of it moving to something else are rare.
For loads more information on how to tell when a guy is into you and, just as importantly, when he's not, take a look at my Dating Coaching Program, and learn how to date successfully.
- Sienna Sinclaire® - Naughty Lifestyle Guide - Los Angeles Dating & Sex Coach
