The Art of Kissing
Kissing is like a language, each kiss speaks words to its receiver. Whether the kiss is sad, polite, loving, invitational, passionate, ravaging, playful or flirting, kissing sends all types of signals.
Kissing is where all sexual energy starts, from when your lips first meet your lovers, to the taste, to the touching of tongues.
From here this kiss can be an innocent, loving kiss, a playful, teasing kiss or a ravaging, inviting kiss as to what is to come next.
No matter how attracted you are to someone, if you don't connect with a kiss then it can be hard to feel a sexual energy.
Many people love their partners but do not like the way they kiss.
So in fear of hurting their feelings, they do not say anything to their partners which results in them skipping kissing all together. What a shame, as kissing can bring so much passion into your sex life.
Kissing is better learned by practicing, as practice makes perfect. We all have different ways we kiss. Some people are great kissers where others may need more practice.
All you need to do is have great smelling breath along with a few kissing techniques that you can improve on your own.
Just because you connect with one lover with kissing does not mean that you will connect with your next lover.
You need to learn how to vary your kissing techniques with each lover and to be open to new kissing methods from your new lover.
Fresh Breath
Before I get into kissing techniques, I want to discuss kissing hygiene. This is the most important thing when it comes to kissing, fresh breath.
One of my pet peeves is bad breath. No matter how great of a kisser you may be, nobody wants to kiss someone with horrible breath.
Just because you can't smell or taste your own breath doesn't mean you don't have bad breath.
Below are a few tips to help you out. If your partner can take the effort to make sure their mouth is minty fresh then so should you.
I know this is common sense stuff but as much as we all know to do this, we still don't do it. Many only brush once a day for about 30 seconds and skip flossing altogether.
• Brush and floss your teeth after every meal. Brushing alone doesn't help, flossing is more important as it gets the food that sits between your teeth which can cause bad breath.
• A great tip for flossing your teeth and making your breath even fresher or for those who have really bad breath is to dip your floss in mouthwash then floss.
Using Listerine is best, as it helps to kill germs located between your teeth that your tooth brush can't reach. You will notice a big difference in your breath.
Or even better, invest in a waterpik which is more effective than flossing. Use everyday and you'll notice a big difference in how fresh your breath smells.
• Flossing first before brushing your teeth is best, because when brushing last it helps to remove any lose food particles left behind from flossing.
• When brushing your teeth, don't forget to brush your tongue and the roof of your mouth, getting as far back as you can go.
• Another great tip is putting Listerine on your tooth brush then using it to brush your tongue and the roof of your mouth to help kill bacteria causing bad breath.
• Always brush your teeth for 2 minutes.
You can get a toothbrush with a timer on it. Or you can count 30 seconds on each side of your mouth for the top then the bottom.
Finish your teeth cleaning routine with mouthwash for 30 seconds.
• Keep mints or gum on you when you go out.
• It's always a great idea to carry a travel-size toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash with you including floss so you can brush after every meal when not at home.
• If you are out on a date and you finish with dinner, excuse yourself to the bathroom to brush your teeth with your travel-size kit.
Or if you didn't bring one then pop some mints or gum in your mouth until you get home and excuse yourself while you go to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
• A great way to have your date freshen their breath is to offer them a tooth brush once you get to your place.
I always keep extra toothbrushes on hand at home for guests along with travel-size mouthwash. Don't be embarrassed to offer them a toothbrush, actually they will appreciate it.
• If the person you are with has bad breath then offer them your mints or gum. Once home offer them a spare tooth brush as mentioned above.
Don't be shy or afraid to offer someone a mint or piece of gum. Or don't feel offended when someone does the same to you.
Sometimes they are just being nice and sometimes they are hinting to you about your breath. Either way, accept the offer and brush your teeth once you get home or to their house.
Bad breath happens to the best of us. Just as we carry condoms with us hoping we will get lucky, we should also carry travel-size toothbrush kits with us to freshen our breath.
Who knows when we may get lucky?
Getting in Sync
Your previous lover may have driven you crazy with the way they kissed but your current lover may not be doing the trick.
Every kiss is different with a new lover. Sometimes you hit it off right away and sometimes you don't.
But that doesn't mean it's the end of your relationship with them. Some people are passionate kissers, others are not. What's important is what your kiss means to you and your lover.
If you and your lover are a little off sync then all you need to do is show them how you like to be kissed or ask them how they like to be kissed.
They will never know unless you tell them. So let them how much you love to be kissed. Then tell them to follow your lips and tongue while you proceed to kiss them, with how you like to be kissed.
Start slowly with your partner, having them follow your lead then build up from there.
If they are doing it right, tell them how much you enjoy it and how it turns you on sexually.
Once your partner knows that they are doing something you like, along with turning you on, they will want to do it again and again.
Kissing Don'ts
• Making your tongue too pointy like a woody woodpecker and moving it in and out rapidly.
• Sucking too hard on someone's tongue or lips.
• Slobbering all over someone. No one wants to drink your saliva.
• Bad breath.
• Tight, closed lips.
• Jamming your tongue immediately down your partners throat or anytime during your kissing session.
• Hitting teeth which is why is important to take it slowly at first to get a feel of how the other person kisses.
• Not using your tongue at all, with just your mouth open, while the other person searches for your tongue or any movement at all. It's like going into an empty hole. What are you doing, sleeping?
• Kissing too fast and sloppy. Slow down and take your time.
Kissing Techniques: Start Slow
Place your hand on their cheek, this lets them know that you are taking charge and they will wait for your lead.
Next slowly move towards their lips while looking into their eyes, or at their lips, and give them a soft kiss on their lips.
From here you can move away from their lips to look at them to see their response. Leave them wanting more.
Next, press your lips softly against your partners and gently nibble or suck with your mouth on the top and bottom lip of their lip.
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Then gently move your tongue into your lovers mouth. Flick your tongue inside their mouth, waiting for their response.
Once your tongues meet, move yours in a circle around theirs then switch directions.
Slowly and gently suck on their tongue for a few seconds. Not too hard as it can feel as if you are
pulling out their tongue.
Then go back to caressing their tongue with yours.
Increase the pressure of your lips and tongue movements while varying your techniques. Also, try moving your tongue slowly over the top of their teeth.
Then move your tongue slowly over their upper lip where it meets their teeth from corner to corner. Before going back in with your tongue, suck or nibble on their upper lip again.
Using your tongue is a plus, but don't go overboard with it and get sloppy. Most people do not like it when you shove your tongue down their throats or use it to lick all over their face.
French kissing involves both your tongues, letting them meet somewhere in the middle.
Once they meet feel the rhythm of your partner and try to follow it, alternating time to time with other movements.
Tease Kiss
Move towards your partner as if you are going to give them a kiss.
Once your mouth is near to your partners, brush their lips gently with your lips or miss their lips completely.
Then move your lips to their ear, breathing lightly and brush your lips over their ear.
Next, move your lips over their neck with a slight open mouth, then slowly bring your lips together giving their neck a kiss then opening your mouth again with your lips still pressed up against their neck.
Repeat a few more times before moving back to their lips.
Tease, tease, tease is the goal here and to turn your partner on. Kissing should be a tease, leaving them wanting more.
Kissing sets the tone for the night and should leave a lasting mark. Have fun with your partner and try different things.
Explore Your Lovers Body With Your Lips
Kissing is not just for the mouth but for all over the body. Explore your partners body with your lips and tongue. The more spots you kiss on your partner will help to give them more pleasure.
Make sure to read your partners response when kissing them in different areas. When you hit a spot they like, take note.
Tease them with kisses, licks, nibbles with your lips or gentle bites with your teeth. However, when using your teeth start off gentle and slow.
Some people like lots of teeth and love to be bit whereas others do not. So start off with very light brushing of your teeth over their skin.
Remember to listen to their response. If you sense that they like it then do it more and maybe harder. It's always a good idea to ask or sometimes they will tell you.
Start with the face, kissing their forehead, checks then lips. From here, move down to their neck, chest, stomach, legs and other parts, alternating between dry and wet kisses with your tongue.
But no slobbering all over them with your tongue as most people do not like it nor the smell of dried saliva.
Don't leave any part of their body undiscovered. Back, bum, knees, neck, legs, arms, chest, inner thighs, stomach and more.
Many people are very turned on when you lick, suck, kiss or nibble on their fingers or toes. For some people these areas are very erotic. Not sure how to go about doing it?
Just do it the same way I talked about kissing the mouth and the rest of the body. Start slow then go on from there with putting the fingers or toes into your mouth and sucking, nibbling, or gently biting on them.
There are so many things you can do with your mouth, let your imagination run wild. Doing it right will really turn your partner on, making them crave your lips all over their body.
Using Your Hands
When kissing, use your hands to really get your partner excited. Teasing with both your lips and your hands is very erotic.
Gently stroke your partners neck, arms, legs, back, hair and chest while kissing them. Also, touching your partners face with your hand is very sexy.
From here move your hand under their ear, around their neck to the back of their head. This position is also good for deep, passionate kisses.
Another move to try once your hand is behind their head, is to lightly run your fingers through their hair. This is for more gentle, sweet kisses with your partner.
However, if you want to get a little more aggressive and passionate then gently pull on their hair. Start off gentle at first to get your partners reaction to see if they like it.
Some people have really sensitive scalps and may not like it. You need to learn how to gently pull on your partners hair.
First, run your hand up their neck and into their hair. Then tighten a little with your hand. Try moving your hand around their scalp so as not to irritate one spot.
If they seem to like it then tug a little harder the next time.
Have fun using your hands and lips all over your partner to tease and tantalize them. Take turns being in charge with your partner by having your way with them.
Then have them do the same to you. Getting to know someone's kissing style, what they like, and don't, along with their hot spots can take some time when you are just starting out for the first time.
Start slow, communicate and learn to read what they like and don't.
Everyone has a different kissing style, so you need to learn how to get in sync with each other to make your kissing experience an unforgettable one.
Homework
Week 1:
Want to learn how to kiss better, teach your partner how to kiss or just try out different kissing techniques to spice things up? Then check out the books and DVD's listed in my store
here.
Week 2:
Practice makes perfect so try out one of my kissing techniques on your lover this weekend; slow kiss or teasing kiss.
Week 3:
Incorporate your hands into your kissing sessions. Sometimes we just use our hands to caress our lovers face or neck but let your hands explore their body more this week when kissing them.
Week 4:
Explore your partners body this week with your lips and tongue. Who knows what naughty things you'll discover!
- Sienna Sinclaire - Naughty Lifestyle Guide - Los Angeles Dating & Sex Coach
